Don't Piss

Patience isn't just a virtue. It's a matter of survival.

Welcome to Don't Piss—a game where you are the hero with one single, but VERY urgent mission. Your bladder is about to burst, and the only salvation awaits at the very top of this surreal and wobbly world. Reach the coveted throne, no matter what!

But the path to glory is paved with... shame.

Gameplay Features:

⏳ Time is Running Out: Your patience meter is relentless. Let it reach its limit—and you'll face catastrophic consequences that will literally knock you off your feet. What happens next? No one knows. Fight to the last second!

💧 Temptations on the Path: Beware of babbling water streams and waterfalls! Their sound and sight are your greatest temptation, causing the meter to fill up at an alarmingly fast rate.

🧻 Oases of Salvation: Finding a porta-potty is only half the battle. It's your checkpoint, but to use it, you need a special item. The price of salvation is a small and ridiculous feat.

⚡ Questionable Help: A can of Urinergy energy drink grants you inhuman speed and jump power, but be ready for the consequences—it also drastically brings that critical moment closer! Will you risk it or rely on your endurance?

🌍 A Dangerous World: Your ascent won't be covered in rose petals. Unstable structures can collapse beneath you, elevators can treacherously get stuck, and the world around you constantly tests your resilience.

🦘 Secret Techniques: Sometimes a standard jump isn't enough. Something might give you an extra boost... you just have to try it and feel it for yourself!

This game is for you if you:

Love challenging and hilarious platformers.

Appreciate absurd humor and a game that doesn't take itself too seriously.

Are looking for a game that will cause both cries of rage and fits of laughter.

Know that failing with laughter isn't a defeat—it's just a reason to try again.

WARNING: This game may cause involuntary laughter, sympathetic pain, and a strong desire to visit the toilet IRL.

Get ready for an ascent you won't forget!