$0.99Coconut Simulator Be a coconut, do nothing
You are a coconut. You lie on a beach, watch the waves and perform the classic coconut activities, which mostly means standing still. Two modes, arcade and realistic, let you pick how seriously you take the job. It is a deadpan joke of a game, and a strangely calm one: no timers, no goals, just sand, sea and you.
Is Coconut Simulator worth it?
Coconut Simulator is worth it if…
- you want a game that is openly a joke and plays it with a straight face
- you like slow, quiet games where nothing is expected of you
- you collect odd little experiences to show friends
- you want something to leave on while you do other things
Screenshots
Life as a coconut
The premise fits in one sentence: you become a coconut. You lie on warm sand, the ocean in front of you, other coconuts around you, and things that are not coconuts too. That is the whole game, and it knows it. The fun comes from how seriously it plays along, with realistic graphics and simple controls, as if being a coconut were a craft worth mastering. You drop onto the sand, the tide rolls in and out, and nothing is asked of you. It is a game about doing nothing, played completely straight.
Arcade or realistic
Two modes change what being a coconut means. Realistic is the purist version: you sit on the beach, watch the water and let time pass, meditative and low-pressure, closer to a screensaver with a soul than a game with rules. Arcade loosens things up a little, for coconuts who want a bit more going on. Neither mode has quests, timers or failure, so you can switch off and stay as long as you like. People have put over a hundred hours into this, which says less about content than about how easy it is to leave running while you think, eat or do something else entirely. It suits anyone who wants a game that never asks for effort back.
What do you actually do in it?
What do you actually do in it?
Very little, on purpose. You are a coconut on a beach. You can look around, contemplate the view, and do what coconuts do, which the game defines as standing in one place. In arcade mode there is slightly more to it, and realistic mode is pure stillness. If you want objectives, this is not that kind of game, and that is the point of the joke.
Is it a real game or a gag?
Both, and the gag is the game. It has two modes, simple controls and realistic graphics, all presented without winking. The humor comes from the commitment: a full simulation of immobility. Take it as a toy, a bit of performance art or a very calm way to waste an evening, and it delivers.
Can you play it solo?
Yes, it is a singleplayer game through and through. You share the beach with other coconuts and a few things that are not coconuts, but none of them need you. It is just you, the sand and the sea, which is exactly the meditative setup the game is going for.
How long is it?
As long as you want it to be. There is no ending to reach and nothing to complete, so a session can last two minutes or, judging by how long some people keep it running, considerably longer. Treat it as a place to visit rather than a game to finish.
